My kids have taken quite an interest in my blog lately...I catch them reading it all the time now...Well "catch" probably isn't the right word...I mean, they are allowed to read it...It's just that I don't like them reading certain posts...Mostly posts that have to deal with Russell's birth or how I felt...Or the down times I have had when it comes to his development over the past three years. I just don't think they understand my words and what I am feeling or trying to say.
I came across Neleah one day reading the very first post I did on my blog about Russell's birth. I told her I didn't really want her reading it...She said ok, and then turned and said "Mom, I don't understand, how come you were so sad when Russell was born?"...Ah, that question hurt a little, I was momentarily lost for words...All I could think was that my daughter had just read me saying I was devastated when her brother was born, and now she probably thought I didn't love him.
I explained that when he was born I didn't know what Down syndrome was...That I was very sad for Russell and scared for him. I told her she would understand what I was saying when she was older. She shrugged it off and went to play, and I sat there thinking, you know what, maybe my kids won't ever understand how I felt when Russell was born. I have fooled myself into thinking when they were older they would just get everything I have written or said about that time...But now I am thinking they may not.
They are growing up with a brother who has Down syndrome, and they are loving it! They adore him! This guy does not get called "The King" around here for nothing!
My kids are growing up seeing that Ds is nothing sad or scary...All they see is the joy and happiness Russell brings to our family. To them Down syndrome is just not a big deal. So they will grow up without that fear, without the negative stereo types, or misconceptions...They will grow up just knowing and accepting.
I never had that opportunity. When Russell was born I thought Ds was pretty rare, I didn't know, or see, people with Ds any where...It was all very new to me.
So there is a chance that they will not understand the things I have written, or the things I have felt. And that kind of makes me sad to think about...But it is what it is. I cannot change the emotions I felt at Russell's birth. But maybe I question a little if I should have written it down or shared it? But then what is life if we do not share those experiences that are closest to our hearts...The ones we learn and grow the most from?
Blogging is tough. How much is too much to share? How much is to little? And what is even the point of blogging if you don't share very much, or anything of real depth?
My kids love my blog...They complain that they are not featured on here enough. They claim Russell must be my favorite because most everything I write is about him. Which of course is true, (the writing mostly about him part, not the him being the favorite part) haha
I explain to them that's why I started the blog in the first place...That I mainly do talk about Down syndrome...That I like connecting with other parents who have kids with Ds because we share ideas and teaching tools with each other...That we help each other through down times and celebrate with each other when our kids learn something new. That blogging for me has just been very helpful and I enjoy it.
Anyway...
So the kids want to be on the blog more.
But then it is tricky writing about my older kids. I want to respect their privacy, so obviously I do not share too much about them or their personal lives...Even with the younger kids it can be tough...To be honest, Jordy was not impressed with me posting about her bedtime signs. She read the post and was all smiles about it being on the blog and happy that I had taken pictures of it...But then she saw that I had pointed out she had spelled "wake" wrong, and that embarrassed her. I felt bad. I didn't even think that would upset her, but it did.
It was a wake up call.
I think I will just be more watchful when I do post. I usually check with the kids first before posting pictures and what not about them, but Jordy's reaction did catch me off guard, and since then I have told myself that sure it's my blog and I can write what I want, but I need to be mindful of what I post and of others feelings.
So there it is...Anything you see on this blog will have been approved by whomever I need that approval from.
So there it is...Anything you see on this blog will have been approved by whomever I need that approval from.
And I will leave you with this spectacular picture I took the other day. I was happy to have caught this rare sight on camera, and now I will post it on here because it is blog worthy and needs to be documented.
Behold...
Raistlin unloading the dishwasher! Ha!
Raistlin unloading the dishwasher! Ha!
Ahhhh, this is an EXCELLENT post, and you have brought up some very, very good points. I am always mindful of my audience. I need to remember that my husband, my mother, my child's teachers and parents of classmates read it. These are all people I have to keep in mind before writing. There are some things I'd LOVE to post, but just. can't. My step mother and I totally got into it once, resulting in a 6-month silence between her and us, because she felt like her privacy had been violated by me posting information about our fun visits to their farm, including photos. She was waaaay over the top about her concerns, but it *did* get me thinking...how much is too much? And she also brought up that she didn't like some of the things I posted about Samantha, thinking they violated *her* privacy, as a child who couldn't speak for herself. I replied that *I* speak for my child for now. Then she said well, what if her classmates one day start reading it, when I'm talking about potty training, therapy, etc. And she brought up a good point. Maybe that's not a concern *now*, but in the not-too-distant future, it may well be. I have to be extra-mindful of not posting things that might embarass her later on down the road, give cause for her schoolmates to ridicule or ostracize her. It's a slippery rope we walk... *sigh*
ReplyDeleteAh yes, I too have made blogging mistakes in the past...Without intending to I have hurt peoples feelings. Like you said, it is a slippery rope we walk. One we have to be ever mindful of before we write.
ReplyDeleteRight now I struggle with having shared Russell's birth story. How will he feel when he reads it one day? Will I be able to explain to him that I was scared and sad about Down syndrome NOT him? Will he understand that, or will my words hurt him? I have been thinking about this a lot lately. I wonder what other Moms think about having written on things like that?
Yes! Good post! So many days I want to go on my blog and "complain" but then I don't want the world to see my life with a child with DS as negative or bad, so I don't. I am very choosy about what I blog about when it comes to Stella and my other girls. But I never even thought about how Stella might feel one day reading my blog!! So many things to think about! I often think my blog is just a little too "Positive". But again, I need to find balance... yes, I guess for all of us balance is the key.
ReplyDeleteAs for Russell reading your blog one day and reading how upset you were...that is a good question. Perhaps as he gets older and comes to understand that he is rockin an extra chromosome, explain to him how you felt when he was first born but then how you feel now as the years have gone by. He may just surprise you!!
I feel,like I have nothing left to say on my blog. I know if my girls read it someday they will see the honest, real feelings I experienced and that is okay. Life is tough sometimes and they need to now that there are ups and downs but you get though them...and then there is light, peace, and the joy of living. The question of what to share, how much is too much...who is reading...who do you offend...it makes blogging not that much fun for me anymore. Blogging should be real, from your heart, and if it is not then what is the point? I do not have older kids that read mine yet so I cannot say I know how that would feel. I just know you have one beautiful family, one amazing blog, and I feel so completely blessed that our roads have crossed because of it! :)
ReplyDeleteI could not agree more! This is a topic that worries me abit...I filter what I say at times and then curse it because it is my outlet...I look forward to max being interested in the blog...I do not talk him much because I do worry that he will be embarrassed...I worry that he will think he can't trust me...it's a balance...great post! Smiles
ReplyDeleteI've had to hold back on my blog from the beginning because there are certain people in my life that I don't want to worry about me. Even though I my sad thoughts don't come that often, this person would freak out. Also, I have a post saved in my drafts that I wrote this week but don't know if I should publish. My sister-in-law liked a short bus joke on facebook and I was pissed. This sister-in-law isn't a faithful blog reader but my father-in-law (her dad) is. I so want to publish it but am afraid of the fall out, although I did try to hide the identities of the guilty.
ReplyDeleteI haven't really considered Colin yet because he is so young but now that I think about it, I will probably abstain from posting anything that would bother him. I don't mind him reading about my emotional anguish about Ben's diagnoses. It is what it is.
You know that I love your blog. My favorite posts are the ones about your everyday life. You prove to me over and over again that life with a son with Ds is totally normal.
Very good thoughts, Jenny. There were a lot of things I haven't shared about what has been going on with Adam b/c I didn't want to embarrass him, but I am sure there have been plenty of things I will regret posting. I know most people are a lot more careful than I am. It is hard to know what's best sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking about this too lately. Darren is a not a fan of anything online (he is so anti-technology!), but it makes me mindful about what I post!
ReplyDelete