Surgery tomorrow

Tomorrow morning Russell goes in for his surgery to have his tonsils and adenoids removed. I'm nervous...I know it's nothing compared to what some of your little ones have gone through, it's not heart surgery or anything like that...But I'm scared all the same. 

He's so tiny...He's only two...And he's my baby.

Today a Nurse from the Hospital called to ask some questions and go over Russell's chart...She asked all the basics, if there were allergies, or health issues...She got to the end and then asked if there was anything else I thought she needed to know...I asked her if it was written down anywhere that he had Down syndrome. She was surprised and said no it was not written on his charts anywhere...So then she went on to ask a few more questions...

She asked if he could follow commands or instructions...I paused for a minute because it's not that simple of a question...Russell can follow a few instructions like go get your shoes, or to close a door or something...But I am sure they would not be asking him to do those things tomorrow...They would ask him to do things like lie down, or be still, stuff I don't think he would totally understand...So I said, no...Not really. And it hurt to say that...But the truth is he is more baby like than the average two year old and I think they need to be aware of that before they are asking him to do things and expecting him to understand.

She asked if he could communicate his needs well...Again I paused...Russell says lots of words, but he never comes up to me and says he needs a drink...He cannot tell me whats wrong when he is upset and he can't tell me if or where something hurts...So again I had to say, no not really. I mean we are able to pick up on Russell's cues when he is fussing...But no he cannot out right tell us something. 

*sigh*

These questions hurt my heart today. Sometimes explaining Russell is a reminder of how different he is...Of the things he cannot yet do. Things I wish for him, and for me, that he could...That they were not a struggle.

Then last but not least she asked me if his Down syndrome was Mild, Moderate, or Severe.

I started to laugh and told her I didn't know what to say, that he just had Down syndrome and that's it. 

She said "Well what have the Doctors told you?"...I said they have told me he is Mild, but that I don't know what Mild means...He has no health issues, so does that make him Mild? But he cannot communicate and follow instructions very well so does that make him Moderate? I have no idea! 

So I just left it at, he has Down syndrome. lol

Actually being able to laugh at that last questions did help ease the hurt from the previous two.

My son is my son. He is who he is. And he couldn't be any more perfect in my eyes.

Please keep Russell in your thoughts and prayers tomorrow. Pray for all to go well during the surgery and that his recovery goes smoothly. He has to spend the night tomorrow night in the Hospital, and Brad and I are deciding who is going to sleep there with him and who is going to come home and take care of the rest of the kids. Hopefully it will only be for one night. Ug. I wish we didn't have to do this.